Note from the author: [This blog is late. I know. We at LadyPantz have had a busy week filming some goodies for you! I would hope that all two of my readers can find it in their hearts to forgive me.]
Sometimes bad stuff happens. And sometimes good stuff happens. And sometimes it's really hard to keep those things in perspective....to not let the bad feel heavier than the good. I personally have had an outstanding year, but I wouldn't be able to appreciate all the amazing things that have happened if those terrible things that happened weren't there to remind me. Since it's November, which is almost December, which is basically the end of the year, I find myself getting all thankful and reflective. So, I thought I would make a personal Best/Worst list of this past year that we are about to say goodbye to. Sound good? Here we go....
Some shit  CAT EMERGENCY SURGERY: I love my cat. His name is Chubby. He is a Maine Coon and he is the softest snuggliest kissiest boy you've ever laid in bed with and I love him with all my heart. But when he peed in the house, I almost murdered him with my bare hands. I took him to the vet to find out what his problem was, and it turns out he had terrible stones in his pee-pee, so he had to have emergency surgery which was going to cost me $1500. Now, I have pet insurance because I'm not an idiot, but you still have to pay up front and they reimburse you. I had to ask my dad for money, which NEVER happens, and quite frankly shouldn't have to at this age. Also, my cat almost died.  TOOTH TRAUMA: After never having had a cavity in my entire life, my back right molar (henceforth to be referred to strictly as "The Crumbler") rotted and fell out of my head whilst biting down on the first bite of the only food I'd had after a 10 hour day at work. A root canal, porcelain fake tooth, and $2500 worth of dental work followed. I wore sunglasses during the procedure and cried beneath them for the first hour.  DECEASED GRANDPA: My 95 year old Grandpa passed away. This was the first death in my immediate family and it was heart-breaking to have to fly to Kansas and help my 97 year old Grandma through the memorial. They'd been married 75 years and were the longest living example of love that I've ever seen. He was a hilarious trickster of a grandpa, and I miss him every day. A few weeks before he passed away, he had a stroke and was taken to the emergency room, and they spent one of the only nights apart that they had since before they were married. Once he was well enough to return, he and my Grandma laid down to nap together and this picture was taken of them.  FIRE EXTINGUISHER FOOT CRUSHING: While working at my shitty restaurant job at the Unnamed Hollywood Fish Restaurant (I hate fish) a gigantic industrial sized fire extinguisher fell off of the wall and onto on my foot, crushing it and causing me to sprain my ankle while trying to remove it from underneath. I had to have a stupid weird temporary cast and I was forced to miss four days of work and stay in bed. I actually really needed the money that I lost on those four days to pay off my stupid Cat Surgery bill and The Crumbler's bill. | Some awesome  BOOKED A BIG VOICEOVER JOB: Not only did this job allow me to pay my dad back, I also got to move into a new place, which was huge because two of our neighbors at our old place were absolutely bonkers. One was so delusional, she called the police on us, THE DAY WE WERE MOVING, and accused us of slashing her tires and selling drugs. I haven't done either of those things since junior high school, and it was pretty offensive to be questioned multiple times by the police while sweatily dragging hundreds of heavy boxes filled with useless CD's into the moving truck. In addition to the financial perks, recording and producing an 18 hour audiobook was extremely rewarding. Plus, my cat is all better! Yay!  PREVENTED SMILE FROM BECOMING REMINISCENT OF METH USER: While they were poking around in my previously pristine mouth, they discovered that my Sonicare had been receding my gums to the point where all my front teeth were very vulnerable and would likely get cavities and fall out. Fixed those right up, and was able to eat seven bags of Candy Corns this Halloween. YOLO  NEVER WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS: Not only did I get to spend 4 days of awesome quality time with my Grandma and other family eating boneless BBQ ribs, creamed spinach and other delectable creations made with love by the staff at the Overland Park Retirement Home, I also stumbled upon this amazing picture of my Grandpa honking my Grandma's boob and laughing really hard about it.  FOUND THIS PEACH: It appears to have a small penis. Since we all know peaches are females, this proves that transgenderism happens in nature and is made by God, therefore strengthening the argument for same sex marriage. Which I am obviously for. Also, I went to the beach a lot, Barack Obama was re-elected, I found $20, I shot a bunch of sketches with LadyPantz, my boyfriend is finally divorced, my bff got engaged, I have amazing friends, my mom is coming to visit in a few weeks, my dog is really sweet, the Saints beat the Eagles, it rained yesterday, I have health insurance, I'm with the man of my dreams, and things just keep getting better. |
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