Why, oh why, do comedies get snubbed every year come Oscar season? Hollywood turns its surgically augmented nose in the air toward at least one truly funny film. So I propose a new awards show. We  call it The Chaplins. We retroactively award Spinal Tap, Anchorman, The Big Lebowski, Best in Show, Dr. Strangelove, Young Frankenstein, and The Jerk. Melissa McCarthy wins Best Actress and Best Actor goes to Will Ferrell. Best Supporting Actor goes to Paul Rudd and Rebel Wilson snags Best Supporting Actress.  We give a lifetime achievement award to Steve Martin. Oh, and there are awards unique to The Chaplins, as well. For example, Best Use of Potty Humor, Best Improvisational Ensemble, and Best Physical Gag awards. Also, the awards show is held at a midwest Shoney’s each year. Also, unlike the Oscars' tradition of getting a comedian to host, The Chaplins would get very dramatic hosts to do the honor, like  Tommy Lee Jones, or Morgan Freeman.
Now that's an awards show I can get behind!

I had a day alone in Maui, and here's what I did with it!

I used to not be a dog person. It wasn’t that I didn’t like dogs, they were fine. I wasn’t that asshole that wouldn’t pet someone’s dog if it was in the same room, and definitely not the type to avoid the dog in disgust or fear from some traumatic childhood memory. I would greet the dog in a friendly manner then be done with it.

Then something changed. It all started with my friend Emily’s dog, Hank. First of all, a dog with an old man name was pretty ok in my book. Second of all, this dog was cute as a button.

Commercials are a tricky thing. You go out on auditions...and go out and go out and go out and almost get one, then get “let go”, then go out and go out and go out...And it’s hard not to take it personally. That it really is like winning the lottery. Unless you’re ethnically ambiguous  or have a pot belly and a mustache. For the rest of us, you just gotta hope that you happen to fit the look of what the ad agency is going for.