A happy 5 year old boy.
I am 5 years old. It’s true. I realized this the other day when I laughed at a fart joke. You’d think that after all these years (which will remain numberless) that I would have outgrown certain childish colloquialisms and actions but the truth is some things will never change. I wouldn’t even say it’s a “youthful sensibility” which implies the young charm and grace of an exuberant woman eager to explore the world. It is, without a doubt, basic kindergarten playground behavior. Here are 13 ways in which I am still 5 years old. Why 13? Because as soon as I found out that this number was bad luck when I was a kid, I decided to make it my lucky number....
1.) I still giggle out loud in airports when I see signs that say “Duty Free.” (If you don’t understand what I’m talking about then congratulations you have reached adulthood.)
2.) I loooooove to play dress up. I relish every opportunity to wear a costume and I love a themed party.
3.) This year after a hard rain I folded paper boats with people and floated them along side a curb that had a current of water.
4.) Sometimes when my alarm goes off in the morning I sing out loud, “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys“R”Us kid.” (If you remember this reference it will lead you closer to my real age.)
5.) I still color in my Rainbow Brite coloring book from the 80’s and when I’m finished with a page I will give it to friends as gifts.
6.) I don’t have a birthday-day. I have a birthday MONTH which means I will use it to justify almost everything I do…or don’t do for 31 days.
7.) When it’s fall, even in Los Angeles, I walk out of my way to stomp on a crunchy dried leaf on the ground. It’s so damn satisfying!
8.) I carry around a rainbow umbrella when it showers.
9.) Every time I get into my car I notice that the clock is a minute slower. Therefore, I think my car is a time machine and if I drove it across America I would arrive on the East Coast at the same time that I left on the West Coast.
10.) I named my car Giuseppe Spaghetti because it’s a Fiat and they come from a far away land called Italy.
11.) When a really great song comes on I will jump up and down on my bed and dance. I will also do this in a hotel room because the sheets feel nice on my bare feet and it’s exciting to be somewhere else.
12.) Anytime a friend takes a little while in the bathroom I will always ask them if they went poo. I will also say, “Did you number 1 or number 2?”
And finally.
13.) I want to be an actress when I grow up.
If you are reading this, chances are you’re an adult so this is my holiday challenge to you. Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the holidays so this should be easy. I invite you all to think of ten ways that you are still a kid at heart. And I don’t mean throwing a temper tantrum or punching somebody in the face. What activities do you presently do or positive traits do you currently have that are from your elementary school years? They should be things that fill you with joy and effervescence. For those of you who can’t come up with anything, I challenge you to remember at least three things you did that filled you with happiness when you were 5 years old and DO THEM. You may feel dumb at first but I guarantee it will be just like riding a bike…or folding a paper boat. Good luck friends.
2.) I loooooove to play dress up. I relish every opportunity to wear a costume and I love a themed party.
3.) This year after a hard rain I folded paper boats with people and floated them along side a curb that had a current of water.
4.) Sometimes when my alarm goes off in the morning I sing out loud, “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys“R”Us kid.” (If you remember this reference it will lead you closer to my real age.)
5.) I still color in my Rainbow Brite coloring book from the 80’s and when I’m finished with a page I will give it to friends as gifts.
6.) I don’t have a birthday-day. I have a birthday MONTH which means I will use it to justify almost everything I do…or don’t do for 31 days.
7.) When it’s fall, even in Los Angeles, I walk out of my way to stomp on a crunchy dried leaf on the ground. It’s so damn satisfying!
8.) I carry around a rainbow umbrella when it showers.
9.) Every time I get into my car I notice that the clock is a minute slower. Therefore, I think my car is a time machine and if I drove it across America I would arrive on the East Coast at the same time that I left on the West Coast.
10.) I named my car Giuseppe Spaghetti because it’s a Fiat and they come from a far away land called Italy.
11.) When a really great song comes on I will jump up and down on my bed and dance. I will also do this in a hotel room because the sheets feel nice on my bare feet and it’s exciting to be somewhere else.
12.) Anytime a friend takes a little while in the bathroom I will always ask them if they went poo. I will also say, “Did you number 1 or number 2?”
And finally.
13.) I want to be an actress when I grow up.
If you are reading this, chances are you’re an adult so this is my holiday challenge to you. Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the holidays so this should be easy. I invite you all to think of ten ways that you are still a kid at heart. And I don’t mean throwing a temper tantrum or punching somebody in the face. What activities do you presently do or positive traits do you currently have that are from your elementary school years? They should be things that fill you with joy and effervescence. For those of you who can’t come up with anything, I challenge you to remember at least three things you did that filled you with happiness when you were 5 years old and DO THEM. You may feel dumb at first but I guarantee it will be just like riding a bike…or folding a paper boat. Good luck friends.
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